I bumped into a friend outside school and she asked how I was and I said "oh so tired" and left it at that, later on that morning I rang that friend and said "can I have a hypnotherapy appointment please?" to which she of course was happy to oblige. It was all booked in and as the date approached so did an email confirming it and saying how she was looking forward to seeing me. I so nearly cancelled.
Thankfully I didn't.
I sat in her chair and we chatted, about lots of things and she asked me why I was there. To be honest I wasn't sure but I said "because I am tired of feeling tired, I am tired of feeling I have nothing left to give and I am tired of always saying yes I can help when really I can't" all said with a smile and not a trace of negativity. I think I was asking her to tell me that I will stop feeling tired, that I do have lots to give but not all the time and that it's OK to say no.
Maybe that's what happened.
I find hypnotherapy a strange one and I can't explain it but after my snooze I felt calmer than I had done in a while. Clare asked me to sit down somewhere comfortable, which was a chair in my granny's house in Warwickshire, she said look over the garden which I did and somehow the ha-ha led down to the bottom of my granny's house in Bath, where I watched the lights go off in a tall building.
Who knows what happened to my little mind but in a way I feel I recharged my batteries with memories of happiness, safety and security. My two grannies were the most amazing people in my life and I call them my inspirations. Sadly they're not here today.
Last Wednesday I felt that they were really with me and they were hugging me tight on their laps whilst stroking my hair all the while saying "shush now little child, don't bother yourself, sit here quietly and when you're ready get down off my lap".
Maybe that's what happened! I think it's OK to feel like a child sometimes.
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